Friday, December 28, 2007

It's Christmas Eve

What, you didn't know Christmas Eve falls on the 28th this year? Well, for our family it does. Tonight most of us are staying over at the folks' place, then tomorrow all 9 of us are having breakfast, opening presents, and having Christmas dinner. See - it's Christmas Eve! So Merry Christmas, everyone out there in blogland! I hope yours was wonderful, and I'll fill you in on mine once it's done.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Growing Again

Well, the DK clan, that is - not me. Although, what with the holidays and all.... but I digress. The point of this particular post is to share yet another piece of fabulous news. Little Bit will have another cousin to play with! My other brother & sister-in-law are now expecting their own baby. Yay! I hope the soon-to-be Grandpa & Grandma are up to it, 3 little ones to spoil in the forseeable future. Congrats Dustin & Jenae - we're all thrilled for you!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

It's Official!

My formal application has been accepted by BCS! One step closer to bringing LB home!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Maybe Next Year...

It is a tough holiday season, folks. My family is going to be all over the place for Christmas (Mom & Dad are in Australia, Baby Sister & her husband are in Michigan, and both brothers are with the in-laws). I mean, we're having our own Christmas after the fact, with everyone, but still - it's just weird. Plus, with the holidays here now, I wish even more that I had Lil' Bit home already. I wish I had started this all LAST year, so I'd have my baby here now. But I know that my baby wouldn't have been ready for me yet then. So I try to be patient & remind myself that maybe, just MAYBE, I'll have LB here with me NEXT year.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Paperwork Woes & Small Breakdowns

I know it will be worth it, once I have the Lil' Bit home, but the mountains of paperwork are so frustrating, I'm seriously getting ready to pull my hair out! However, I don't think bald is a good look for me. I think I'm about halfway through the stack, so maybe this weekend I can get the rest done - I really really REALLY need to get it all filled out & turned in, cause I want that dossier ready to go just as soon as the homestudy is done. I know that Lil' Bit is out there somewhere, and I just want to have him or her with me.

On a related note, I had a mini-breakdown tonight, watching old "Gotcha Day" videos on a couple blogs I read. I can't wait for that to be me! And, can't forget - looks like the future cousin to LB (who will be here first, of course) is most likely a future cousin of the girl variety.

And, of course, a note of clarification in case anybody actually reads this: Yes, I'm referring to the child-yet-to-be as Lil' Bit, or LB. This is because 1 - said child has not been referred to me yet, so I'm sure not gonna tell you all my name finalist ideas. 2 - due to the fact that said child has not been referred, I do not know if I will have a son or daughter. 3 - I am getting really sick of talking about the Lil' Bit as "my future child". Nuff said! Anyway, if anybody has a better nickname, please feel free to share!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Let the Paperchase Begin

I have been filling out SO much paperwork the last week or so. My formal application is almost done, then there is all the dossier paperwork. Not to mention getting forms to my references...speaking of which, Ms. Becca is SO on the ball! Her reference form for me will get to my agency before my application even does (most likely). Yikes! Ah well, she's looking out for me. Gotta love the support there!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Changes, Changes

I just changed agencies. My first-choice one just started an Ethiopian program! Talk about perfect, huh? Big time God thing. I don't usually talk about things that way, but this really was. Looks like things are falling into place - first I get an apartment big enough for more than just me (ie a baby), then the agency thing. YAY! It's really gonna happen!

Monday, September 24, 2007

My Family is Growing.

Well, it will be anyway, come May. I found out about a week & a half ago that my brother & his wife (Jordan & Allyson) are going to have a kid. This means my kid will have a cousin to play with - that is, if all goes well and according to the timeline I hope to follow. That would be nice, I want my little one to have cousins to play with (and siblings, too, of course!). So the DeKoekkoek clan begins to grow. Congratulations, Jordan & Al!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Telling Secrets

I've told a few people now, well a few more anyway. Pretty much all my close friends know my plan, as well as Mom, one uncle, a few people at work, and one woman from church. It feels good to tell people. The only thing is, I'm afraid to tell too many because I don't want anyone to try to talk me out of this. I know it sounds silly, because I know nobody could talk me out of it no matter what, but I still worry. I still don't have an apartment, so things are on hold. It's such a disappointment - I don't want to wait any longer than absolutely necessary to have my baby here with me. But I have to trust that there is a reason for the waiting, that waiting means that I'll be ready the same time my child is. It's the only thing that keeps me patient, that gets me sanely through the days and nights when I just want to scream with frustration. This is all going to fall together how it needs to, in order to make my family.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Starting Out

Well, this isn't exactly the way I originally pictured having a family of my own, but sometimes life doesn't really go the way we want, does it? I went & looked at an apartment tonight, it seemed almost perfect. Cozy place, nice quiet cul-de-sac. I hope it works out. Once I'm in a place of my own, I can apply to the agency, then set up the home study & get things moving. Now that I know I am going to do this, every day I don't have a child feels like my arms are aching. I feel so empty, knowing that my son or daughter could very well be out there already but they aren't here. I know it probably seems crazy to so many people, but I need to do this. I am ready to be someone's Mama. Now I just have to do what I have to do so I am approved to adopt. Then I can bring my baby home.